


Kintsugi

by ImmortalKoschei



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: 5+1 Things, Author is a Gay Idiot, Jedi Ben Solo, M/M, Mild Language, Post-Canon, Pre-Canon, Redeemed Ben Solo, Young Ben Solo, Young Poe Dameron
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-24
Updated: 2020-01-24
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:27:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22391770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImmortalKoschei/pseuds/ImmortalKoschei
Summary: Five times Ben Solo saw Poe Dameron's ring, and one time he earned it.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 2
Kudos: 28





	Kintsugi

**Author's Note:**

> This is a gift for Solohux on tumblr, I got inspired scrolling through their blog! Everyone go check them out!

The first time Poe shows Ben his mother's old ring, they're sitting under the dark sky of Yavin 4, with Ben doing all of the talking as he points out the constellations to Poe. The light reflecting from the nearby Yavin Prime makes the ring around Poe's neck shine in a way that catches Ben's attention. Ben reaches for it and gently runs his fingers over the golden band.

  
"What's this?" Ben asks softly.  
Without a word, Poe removes the chain holding the ring from his neck and places it in Ben's offered hand. He leans back, and lies on the grass without explaining the significance of the metal ring to Ben.  
Ben looks at it carefully nevertheless. Holds it delicately as if it might break in his grasp before following Poe's role and lying in the grass. He braces himself on his elbow and faces Poe, he looks closely at his boyfriend, and sighs.

  
"We haven't seen each other in months, Poe. When you sent that holo saying you were on your way for a visit I was expecting more talking on your part."

  
Poe heaves a sigh of his own, but doesn't turn to look at Ben's face.

  
"It's just… this long distance thing is shit."

  
"Are you breaking up with me?" Ben asks softly.

  
"No!" Poe says, whipping his head towards Ben fast enough that Ben thinks he may have injured himself in his hast to face him. Ben laughs quietly at Poe's sudden passion, then shakes his head.

  
"Then talk to me. Tell me about the ring."  
Silence, then; "It was my mother's."  
Ben waits for further explanation, knowing how the subject of Poe's family is usually a sore one for the pilot.

  
"There's not much else to say. You know she passed when I was little, but I promised myself that I'd give it away one day. To the person that I swore I'd spend the rest of my life with."

  
Suddenly Poe sits up, and in better lighting Ben might be able to see the blush creeping up Poe's neck and face, but as it is, instead Ben feels the waves of embarrassment, rolling off of Poe and into the force around them. Embarrassment and yearning. Ben says nothing, but sits up and reaches his hand for Poe's. He turns Poe's palm upright and drops the ring into it before moving to his feet.

  
"It's late," Ben supplies to a confused Poe. "C'mon. Let's head back to the temple. Maybe Luke won't scold you too badly for keeping me up past lights out."

  
Poe is on his own feet quickly putting the ring back around his neck. "Hey, that isn't fair!" He interjects. "It was your idea to sneak out!" But he's too late to reply, Ben is already jogging back to the Jedi temple, and Poe has nothing else to do but run after him to catch up, and hope the scolding from Luke doesn't wake the other padawans.

\-----

The second time Ben sees Poe's ring, Ben isn't Ben anymore. They're in some God forsaken desert and Poe is kneeling before Kylo Ren surrounded by the fires of a burning settlement. Kylo notices how the firelight strokes the ring gently, the way his own fingers did so many moons ago. The ring is as gorgeous now as it was then, but Kylo Ren has no desire to own the ring, to own the heart of the man before him as Ben Solo did. He's so caught up in just looking that he forgets to say anything. And witty as ever, Poe speaks up.

  
"So who talks first? You talk first? I talk first?" And oh, how Ben has missed that voice. Missed the embrace of the man before him. It's Ben who reaches out and strokes the ring, and he can feel the anxiety in Poe. Ben wants to ask why he's so nervous when he remembers. Kylo Ren is someone to be nervous around. Kylo Ren yanks his hand away as if burned. He remembers why he's here when the thought passes through Poe. The map to Skywalker.

  
"The old man gave it to you." He says, almost amazed. But then again, who wouldn't trust Poe Dameron with their secrets? Ben Solo did. For months, years of his life he shared secrets with the man before him.

  
"It's very hard to understand you with all that apparatus." Poe jeers.

  
"Search him," Kylo Ren orders the stormtroopers holding him. They find nothing, and tell Kylo as much. "Bring him aboard," he says, and turns away from Poe before the other man can say anything else.

  
\-------

The third time Ben sees it, Poe is aboard the Finalizer. Kylo Ren sees the ring glittering warmly under the cold fluorescent lights, and something inside him lurches at the sight. Kylo Ren knows what he has to do to get the information about Skywalker's location, but the part of him that was Ben Solo reacts to the hate and betrayal that comes off of Poe in waves. He's never been so happy to have his mask until this very moment, facing down his ex lover is… well there really isn't a word to describe it that Ben can think of, but seeing someone that meant so much to him tied to a chair, and covered in blood makes him a little squeamish.

  
"I had no idea we had the Resistance's best pilot on board." Kylo lies. Hoping to keep an emotional distance between them as the physical one diminishes as Kylo crosses the room toward Poe. It doesn't work, but Ben tries not to think about that.

  
"Fuck you," Poe spits out, and then actually spits out blood in Kylo's direction. Kylo doesn't react fast enough to avoid getting the blood on his tunic, and Ben's face goes blanche at the thought of Poe being hit hard enough for him to have blood in his mouth. There's nothing Ben wants more than to leave the room, but Kylo has business here.  
He tries the gentle approach first, hoping he won't have to use the force to get the information from Poe.

  
"Dameron, tell me where the map is."  
"Dameron? Is that who I am to you now, Be-?" The name isn't even entirely out of Poe's mouth before Kylo smashed his hand into the panel next to them, leaving a sizable dent. His hand hurts, even with the use of the force to help mould the metal under his hand, but it shuts Poe up.

  
"Ben Solo is dead!" Kylo Ren says with a conviction he doesn't feel, and Poe's eyes soften, and Ben knows he's been caught.  
"That's not true." Poe says with certainty that Kylo wishes he possessed. So like a cornered animal afraid of being captured, Kylo reaches out with the force and pushes the location of the map to Skywalker to the front of Poe's thoughts. It isn't easy at first. Poe uses the techniques Ben showed him in their childhood to resist Kylo's probing, but he gets his answer.

  
Ben immediately regrets it, but to feel superior Kylo Ren rips the chain holding the ring from Poe's neck. He holds it mid air with the force, and before Poe's eyes, uses the force to break the ring into pieces. He lets the pieces fall to the floor, and walks out of the room.

  
\-----

The fourth time the ring is shown to him, months have passed, and Ben sees it in a dream. Except he knows better than to think it's just a dream. No, this is a vision that the force has deemed necessary for him to see, and to his relief and sorrow, it's being repaired.

  
Kylo Ren had only been partially surprised to find no trace of the ring left behind when Poe and FN-2187 had made their escape from the Finalizer and the First Order. He had no idea that Poe's plan was to eventually repair it.  
Evidently, the reason it had taken so long for this vision to come is explained within its contents. Not only has Poe decided to get it repaired, he's doing so in the most expensive way imaginable: with beskar in a Mandalorian forge. The vision also supplies how dangerous this mission is for Poe. He is galaxies away from the nearest rebel base, and even for the best pilot in the Resistance, it's a long flight back home. If he were to be caught out here, the trip would quickly turn from round trip to one way.

  
Despite all this, Poe keeps his cool, and politely talks to the Madalorian running the forge. He's making up a story about how he bought the pieces from a Jawa, and heard of the beauty and durability of beskar and the talent of the Mandalorian metalsmiths. He tells the woman running the forge how he's going to propose to his sweetheart with it, and the Mandalorian I'm turn shares her story of how she proposed to her wife with a beaker ring as well.

  
But no, Poe says that he doesn't want the entire ring encased in beskar.  
"Actually, I have a weird request. Can you use the beskar as a sorta seal? Only used to bring the pieces together? The art is called Kintsugi," he explains, and the Mandalorian nods. It seems she knows plenty about the art Poe is talking about, and asks if there's a specific color the Poe wants the beskar to be dyed.

  
Poe nods and begins to explain something in vigorous detail, but Ben can't decipher the words. He's close to waking, and the vision is slipping through his fingers. The last thing he sees is the ring reforged, brought together by a brilliantly familiar blue.

  
With a start he wakes, and Kylo Ren has to turn on his lightsaber to ensure that the color isn't the blue it was when he first built it. To his disappointment, the fractured Kyber crystal turns his lightsaber bright red.

  
\-----

The fifth time he sees the ring, it's being clasped in Poe's rough, calloused hands, and all that he really sees is the chain that holds it, but by this point he can recognize it by that chain alone. They're in Poe's quarters, except Ben isn't really there. His mind has projected him here, the way he and Rey sometimes communicate.

  
Poe looks up, sensing that he's no longer alone, and instead of drawing a blade as Ben would assume he would, he just looks at him with eyes so full of sorrow it makes Ben's heart ache. There's a reason why Ben is here. His mother, General Leia Organa, has passed away, and in a moment of grieving hearts, the force brought them together to reconcile. Only, Poe doesn't see it that way.

  
"Are you happy now?" Poe asks, voice wavering, "Have you come to gloat, Kylo Ren?"

  
It's the first time that Poe has referred to him as such, and in a time when Ben's connection to the dark side of the force is weakening, and the draw to go back to the light has never been so seductive, Ben isn't sure he enjoys hearing the name fall from Poe's lips.  
He can't say it's not his fault that Leia is dead, because it is. She had used the last of her strength to call out to him, and now he stands before Poe, unable to explain to him the significance of this. Unable to explain that he isn't Kylo Ren anymore. Not really, but he realizes he's still wearing his mask, so he takes it off and let's his hair fall down. It's a mess. He's a mess, and it shows. His eyes are dark and the bags under his eyes expose his lack of restful sleep. When he opens his mouth to speak, nothing comes out. He just stares. Poe doesn't appear to be in the mood for it.

  
"Loth-cat got your tongue?" He says angrily, standing and walking to stand in front of Ben. "Say something, you son of a bitch!" Poe yells, and pulls his arm back to throw a punch.

  
It surprises both of them when the punch connects, and Ben immediately brings a hand up to his jaw, holding the now bruising flesh. Without so much as a word, Ben stops the force link connecting them together.

  
\-----

Poe is sobbing when Ben see the ring this time. Poe's entire body is shaking with each heavy inhale he takes, his hands are covering his face and Ben can't help but want to shed tears in sympathy, but it feels wrong to cry at his own funeral.

  
Ben walks over to where Poe is sitting, and kneels in front of him, aware of how Rey and Finn watch his force ghost move towards Poe. They don't say anything, which gives Ben the chance to surprise Poe by placing his hands on Poe's left knee.

  
"You should be happy," Ben says gently, "the war is over now."

  
"How can I be happy?" Poe says between sobs, he decidedly does not remove his hands to look at Ben. "You're dead, Ben."

  
"But I'm here, Poe," Ben whispers. "Look at me."

  
Poe does as he's asked, and does his best not to begin crying uncontrollably.

  
"I've missed you, Ben," Poe says, and Ben smiles warmly.

  
"I've missed you too," Ben says, and faces Rey and Finn, both of which seem to be doing their best to give them some privacy without actually leaving Poe alone.

  
"Will you two look after him in my absence?" Ben asks, and they both nod silently. "Thank you," Ben turns back to Poe, and squeezes his knee.

  
"I have to go, Poe, but I promise you won't be alone."

  
Poe nods, he's still crying, but it has calmed.  
"I love you." Poe admits.

  
"I love you too." Ben echos, and then he's gone.


End file.
